From the WTF files...

Living in a foreign country, any foreign country, presents one with the opportunity to experience new takes on language and culture. Without much of an intro, I present the image to the left, that of an ibuprofen brand called "FULLOPAIN". I don't know about you but merely opening the box made me nervous as I imagined a giant boxing glove on a thick coil spring flattening my nose and launching a few drops of blood. Maybe someone could have asked a native English speaker about this before taking it to market? Or not.

Dining in Korea

Lard have mercy! There is no one thing that seems to connect a culture, country, family, or others than food, that culinary binder that makes us miss home like nothing else. Suzanne and I have done pretty well in South Korea considering its distance from home. We have also done well despite being so far from places one might consider "culinary epicenters" such as New York, San Francisco, or Arnold, Missouri. However, there are certainly things that baffle us when we eat as the locals do. The point of this post is not to demean Korean food in any way but to point out differences. So don't get all bent out of shape.

• Even upper mid-level Italian restaurants provide sweet pickles at the beginning of your meal. They're not to be confused with antipasta, they are sugary sweet pickles. Don't be surprised if you also see them on your Subway sandwich too. Heck, the sweet pickles on a Subway sandwich were part of the motivation for Stanwiches International.
• Asia is home to Avian flu. Oh boy! So why is it OK to serve raw eggs on dishes like bibimbap and others? More people have died from avian flu than BSE (Mad cow disease). Several dishes are served in VERY hot ceramic bowl which is great for winter meals AND frying the egg against the side. They give me the "WTF?" look when you cook the egg against the bowl.
• Because I am a "Lazy American" I cannot yet comprehend all Korean writing. I can read some but have no idea what most of it means. Korean menus sometimes have pictures or bits of English, and this is a good thing. By no means is the the rule though, even in a town like ours which was built for the sole purpose of attracting foreign investors. Maybe they just want the investment and not the people?
• If you have an allergy to crustaceans (shellfish) it can be a tough place. I am allergic and often carry my epi-pen. However, there are stories of the careless server who has no interest in your well being. Call it carelessness or complacency, it's still a risk. Many non-seafood dishes have noodles that were boiled in the same water as the clams or shrimp.
• Vegetarian may not...DOES NOT mean there is no meat/poultry/fish in the dish. We've found bits of beef in lots of things and, like the noodles, you may get exposed to meats/shelf fish in the most unexpected places. To be fair, some restaurants are known to be vegetarian by their customers yet it's not claimed anywhere.
• Food prep is fairly extensive here since many small dishes are offered with each meal even when you don't want it. Food prep need not take up precious kitchen space since it can be done out in the public hallway on the floor. In other news, I spent the first 4-6 months in Korea having a new morning constitution experience every day.
• Chopsticks have their own history in Korea. A former leader of Korea had been on the receiving end of an assassination attempt. The vehicle for the poison was a set of wooden chopsticks. Silver chopsticks became very popular after that as they tarnish in the presence of some toxins. Today most chopsticks are stainless steel. Chopsticks have their place however and are not intended for use on rice where a spoon is the tool for the job.
• Speaking of rice, Korean rice is a short grained, glutenous white style of grain. It's shape is very much like a football with blunted ends. This rice works well when added to very wet dishes or with meat when wrapped in greens such as lettuce or sesame leaf. The markets offer many different brands, prices and package sizes but I must admit I see little difference in the actual product. When speaking strictly of a white rice there is very little in the way of options outside of this style. Basmati and jasmine rice are not to be found but in specialty stores for foreigners and the cost can run run about $10/pound. We eat very little rice so this treat is acceptable for our budget.
• There are things missing from the normal markets that I have to really hunt for or do not get at all. Limes and lime products are a no-go. You may think this is not an issue until you try to make Asian meals from other countries. Thai food depends heavily on limes and it may be our favorite food. Thai food also uses a great deal of cilantro (gosu in Korean) but the Koreans claim they dislike gosu and it gives them a headache. Hey, there may be a conspiracy here. I'll go sit on my grassy knoll and figure this one out.
• What is my favorite meal? It has to be samgeytang. Not just for flavor but for the experience that surrounds our meals that our cooked by a little old Korean woman with a gold grill (gold plated teeth). Suzanne and I like to hike at Munhak mountain near our house. We generally hike there for 2-3 hours then grab a flimsy plastic table at "Grandma's". Grandma's is a metal piped structure with canvas walls and dirt floors but features a full kitchen. Sounds questionable and it likely is outside the law but the samgyetang is amazing and downing a few crappy beers along with it makes life a little better. Samgyetang is simply a whole young chicken cooked in a pressure cooker then the juices and broth are put in a large shallow metal bowl, placed on a portable flame and then centered on the table. The bird is stuffed with Korean sticky rice, Jujubes, garlic, gensing, and ginger. The chicken sits in the juices and is surrounded by misc. veggies. The table is provided a set of scissors and tongs to take the little beast apart. There is enough for about 3 hungry people and, as ALWAYS, comes with kimchi and other goodies. Although I am careful about kimchi since it usually contains shrimp sauce, I do enjoy this one. There's never a spec of food left...EVER. if you come to Korea, you will be taken to Grandma's.

There is so much more to eating in Korea and what I wrote does not do it justice. I will do my best to write more, especially the more positive experiences.

Camping and cycling in Korea

Yuppers, that's me in my glory. I'm a picture of vitality I tell you!
Last weekend we went to central Korea and camped, rode some insanely cool trails, drank some adult beverages and tried to stay dry.

Dirt
We pushed our scooters up, and up, and up rarely stopping to do anything other than clean the blue air out of our ears that Suzanne was spouting. Girrrrrrrl was mad about the pushing. I was a little poopy-pants too until we finally hit some horizonal dirt singletrack.

When all of our groups convened we pointed our sleds down. Someone took off and practically disappeared over this cliff. I inched up behind to look over and see him wrastling a tree. At that point the spectators looked to me to be the next victim. I reluctantly dropped in down the rutted and twisty trail. Peer pressure. The rut caught the rear tire while I worked the front of the bike. The result was this kick-ass sideways skid with a change-up mid-skid for about 40-50 feet total, the first half of which was full of fear then a calm overcame me as I realized that the hill was so steep my upside hand was merely a foot or two from the ground. Totally terrorized I yelled back up the hill, "it's cool, come on down, the water's fine!".

We all met at the bottom and returned to camp. Some previously not grumpy people were now grumpy and visa-verse. Look at us sitting on the concrete. in the picture to the right. We are contemplating life after the descent.

Back at camp we regrouped and headed out for a second loop that saw us ride up a nice fire road to the top of our original push up. As we headed into the singetrack the rain came and it was getting serious. The loose rocks were a bit more stable with the moisture and provided a great ride down,. The final 1k was a freaking blast with swooping diving singltrack. Just lovely!
The party
Set up tents, beer, Jerry's Biafran stew, beer, Jeagermeister, chips, try to stay dry, sleep. Good times.
The next day
Not happy inside. Nobody rode and nobody was sad for that. We had pressed our luck the day before.

Shep-Boy-R-Dee, Orange Scruffy, Rice-A-Pony

Part of my being a registered dietitian is understanding the food culture of those I care for. Since I ain't gots no job I have the opportunity to venture out, be proactive, be adventurous. Today I went with two officials from a local marketing group to scope out some land for a new MTB trail building and education center. After we walked a bit of the land it was lunch time. One suggested, while using utmost tact, that I might try dog. Wow, just writing that makes me a little sad. Oh, don't get me wrong, I have NO aversion to eating dog, I just cannot fathom what makes a culture think that torturing an animal before it's death can improve health or be "good for man". Yes, koreans feel that the terror in the last moments of life improve the meat flavor and the nutrition. In the end, I see myself as having a responsibility to at least try it. I need not consume it again and I certainly never need to be an advocate for it especially since I know for a fact it provides no more protein than any other source.

The meat appeared to be stewed and looked much like pork. The fat and muscle were easily separated. The fat left that nasty hotdog feeling on the roof of my mouth but the meat was not as bad. The texture was stringy like beef but again the taste was similar to pork with a hint of lab...I mean lamb. It was all served with various kimchi. It was to be eaten wrapped in sesame leaves along with garlic shoots and various mixed spices.

In addition we also had various hot peppers and pastes, pickled garlic, daikon, and a soup. The soup was served in a hot bowl as demonstrated by the video. It was surprising bland despite fizz-fizz action. I was ready for a real shock to the gazilta-zoink. It was not bad, just bland. It did compliment the other foods well and thus justified it's place on the table.

Will I eat dog again? No. Today I contributed enough to cruel animal treatment and shotty nutrition science for a lifetime. Korea is "Spok-o-rink"* in many ways but this is not one of them in my opinion. Get ride of the cruelty and I have no issue with it, old wives tales be damned about the nutrition. My hosts were great and added to my experiences in Korea and for that I am grateful.

Now, where's my forklift, I have cows to move?

Spok-o-rink = Sparkling

Race number two in South Korea

A few months back I sent some family and friends updates on a race I did in Asan. Well, the monsoon season has ended and racing is back in full swing. I traveled 90 minutes to a place called dongduchong, North of Seoul. There was no lack of pageantry as the banners for the race started appearing about 5 miles before the city limit sign. The race started in a stadium on a hillside which provided a nice venue. Off we went! We started on the track and passed under the tracking system sensor.

Let the cussing begin!
I cussed at the singletrack in the first 1/3 of the 35km race. The trail and road was so steep the front wheel bobbed. The trails were new and not built with any shred of respect for the soil or vegetation. That stuff (trail dirt) will be at the bottom of the valley and unrideable after the freeze/thaw or a few rains. However, I will admit that that many of the downhills were fun even though unsustainable. Sort of like; you should not eat fried chicken but I just ate some and loved it! I was pretty frustrated and even stopped on one climb to clean my diaper/poopy pants. At one point in the beginning of the race my friend Nat and I realized that walking was significantly faster...and so I walked. (note: I never saw Nat walk, for he is far too burly for such things.) Truth be told, this race was Korean racing at it's best and I need to adapt. All races here involve brutal paved climbs followed by unrideable singletrack climbs often followed by dirt road descents. Yes, adapting is what I'll do. I just need to lose that last 55 pounds I've been trying to lose. Anyone have any good diet advise?

Hey, I smell BBQ!
I got to witness two pretty spectacular crashes. The first was in a long sweeper turn on a gravel fire road. The racer in front of me danced across the rocks with his itsy-bitsy tires until his elbow and hip hit the ground, just about the time the cheese grater concrete started. I figured I would put him out of his misery and try to roll him a little further down the concrete by pushing him with my front tire. Sing along kids "the wheel and the Korean go round and round, round and round, round and round..." The second crash was a rider "pie-ting nay-chia" after some spectators egged him on. Koreans are enthusiastic about mountain biking and that they get to do it in nature. They see it as them against nature, thus they are fighting nature. In their excitement in cheering for racers it always comes off as "pie-ting nay-chia". This is also fun to yell when you see a drunk guy peeing in an alley or whever the mood strikes. It's like yelling "FREEBIRD, DUDE!". Anyway, he attacked on a downhill paved section into a 179.9 degree turn. Bless his little heart if he didn't eat eat shit like a big boy. Off into the ditch he went, cleats up, man down. The eggers moseyed away unamused and so did I in the big ring.

You want WHAT, no drama!??
Not stopping to help the two crashers emptied my Karma box. I flatted with a sliced front sidewall. WTF!? Korean racing seldom seems to provide tire-slicing opportunities but I suppose I seized the day and took my turn. I stopped to add more air in hopes that the tubeless system would heal. Nope. I pulled the tire and inserted a tube then made sure to lose my skewer nut. Paul stood by and watched and while I made all of this happen WITHOUT any outside assist. Secrete message here! Actually, Paul had a nicer pump and helped me find my blasted skewer nut. In the meanwhile Nat rolled by, offered assist, then carried on. The only solace about the flat was that it really motivated me to hammer the last 6 miles. It probably cost me 8-10 minutes, some of which was spent looking dopier than normal and doing nothing, but it made the end fun. The ending single-track may have been the best of all with rock and roots but unfortunately, my Korean buddies leading the way. Nat was just in front of me but made a brilliant pass of our two Korean buddies, effectively ending my chances of nipping him at the line. Good job!

I initially thought my finish time was in the 2:20 zone but I forgot about my tire flat that did not register on my watch. I cannot imagine I was in the top 50% of this race either. I had hoped for top 25% but it just was not in the cards. In reality, I may have been over estimating my abilities even for a perfect day. When the race took off, I easily glided to the front 25% of the field but then did my best to act like a rolling brick midway up the first climb. I never saw most of my class field again except for my friend Nat. I suppose we will know as soon as the results are posted.

Estimated total time: 2:30:00
Avg speed: 13.8 kmh (8.56 mph!)
distance: ~33 km (20.46 miles) Was supposed to be 35km
Max speed: 62.3 kph (38.6 mph)
Elevation gain: 7,500,184,596,952,584 feet

Stanwiches International Menu

Stanwiches International
Mind-Blowing Global Foods Without the Airfare!

(010) 6354-5486 Crockpot2001@hotmail.com

Stanwiches menu items are perfect for office meetings, special functions, and when you've had just enough Kimchi for one day.

Please order 24 hours in advance via phone. Monday orders need to be in by Friday.
Minimum order is W14000. Delivery in Songdo is free.

Signature 7" Stanwiches W7000 ea.
Ham and Swiss offers lean ham with rich Swiss cheese on a baguette with lettuce, tomato, reduced fat mayonnaise, Dijon mustard, a dill pickle, and chips.

Hot−Cha−Cha Tuna is a mixture of healthy tuna and smoky chipotle pepper on a Whole grain baguette (if available), with lettuce, tomato, reduced fat mayonnaise, Dijon mustard, a Dill pickle, and chips.

Basil Chicken made with real Parmesan cheese, basil, garlic, tomato, and reduced fat mayo on a baguette, with lettuce, a dill pickle, and chips.

Crazy Pig offers a generous serving of lean (MSG free) ham with bacon and Swiss on a baguette with lettuce, tomato, reduced fat mayonnaise, Dijon mustard, a dill pickle, and chips.

BBQ Chicken is tender white meat cooked for hours in a smoky sauce served on a baguette with lettuce, tomato, a dill pickle, and chips. This is a great reduced fat/calorie Stanwich.

BLT is just that, crisp bacon with lettuce, tomato, and Dijon mustard on a baguette served with a dill pickle and chips.

Sidecars
Homemade Tater Salad is a creamy style salad using reduced fat mayo to keep it skinny. Minimum order is 2 orders. W3000 ea.

Deep South Tater Salad is a creamy style salad with warm spices that throw a nice twist on a classic. Minimum order is 2 orders. W3000 ea.

Extra chips just good ol’ potato chips W700 ea.

Bachelor Menu (The following items are meant for home consumption and may require additional time)
Fajita Burritos are made from white meat chicken with smoky fajita seasonings, onion, garlic, tomato, red bell peppers, and Monterrey Jack cheese in a large flour tortilla. Made with no added oils. Delivered frozen with cooking instructions. W6000

Hummus, a tasty and healthy Middle Eastern staple, is handmade from scratch using chick peas, handmade tahini, fresh garlic and other ingredients. Hummus is rich in protein, fiber, and Omega−3 fatty acids. Serve with fresh veggies or bread. Comes in a 1.25 cup serving. W4000

Coming soon to the Bachelor Menu!
Frozen homemade chicken vegetable soup
Frozen Tomato Bisque

Note: due to availability, some slight changes may be required to above menu.

Shock and Awe, bacon style

Stanwiches International is working on a nice little catering order. The key ingredient to the Chipotle-mayo bacon croissant is, well, bacon. Oh that glorious strip of salty, nitrate festooned critter! Korean bacon just does not measure up. It's too thin and poorly cured. The pork most often used here is not meant to cozy up to scrambled eggs. I had a few frozen packs of the stuff and decided to rotate them out of stock. The strips are paper thin and have very little flavor. They won't be used for the catering client. I know, I know, "the flavor comes from the stuff that will kill us all", but if you are gonna have bacon, go for the good stuff just don't live on it. I had eleven pieces this morning while cooking and I am still alive. This would be a great place to have one of those emoticons where the eyes roll.

Below are some images from the Stanwiches International bacon assembly plant. I was about halfway done at this point. There was so much ambient grease that I chose not to continue taking pictures for fear of destroying the camera. Did I ever tell you that my Great-grandmother thought she was going blind? It was just the grease coating on her glasses. They had hoped my father would turn out to be an optometrist but his experience was limited to this one procedure of degreasing her glasses. It was Like Billy Graham had cured her. Cured as in healed, not bacon. Oh snap!

MTB trails for Incheon

Korea is flush with dirt trails, I mean they are everywhere. Why not? Korea is >70% mountains and people have been walking these hills for centuries. The problem is that the trails go straight up or straight down the hill. Long, swooping trails that remind one of the Jedi warrior cycles in the woods are really rare. Here's what we're doing about it, http://mtbincheon.blogspot.com/
Support for the project has been fantastic with corporations and organizations stepping right up with all sorts of support ranging from pure manpower to offering engineering services.

When the Incheon bridge finally connects to Songdo next year it will be possible to arrive at flowing singletrack in as little as 20 minutes after you leave the airport.

Seoul Podcast with Jennifer Young and Joe McPherson

When we first arrived in Korea I read a newspaper article by a guy named Joe McPherson, a chef here in Seoul. I liked his writing style and suspected there was more to this guy than just food-babble. I dropped him a note and he responded. He later asked me if I would be interested in being a guest on his radio show featured on the Seoul Podcast network. He seemed to think that it might be interesting to have a real, live food cop make an appearance. Also included was Jennifer Young who is smart as they come and a blast to BS with. Good people, both of them. We didn't do a great job of staying on the topic of nutrition; maybe it was the booze, maybe it was the late evening discussion, whatever. It's a pretty long listen but there are some real gems of drama, mystery, social injustice, menus from a dog restaurant, and a little bit of sexxy-time!
http://www.seoulpodcast.com/archives/126

If it can happen in Texas...

A few years ago I drove the BigShark van of death solo from St. Louis to Park City, UT. I was to deliver the bicycles of the racers who went there to compete in the Master's National Championship road races. It was just me in a Speedo and cowboy hat with $40,000 worth of bicycles crossing central Wyoming. The owner of the Van of Death said the brakes worked (uphill) and the AC worked (in the winter). I crested a mountain pass to see magnificent wind farms as far as the eye could see, their giant, beautiful arms spinning in the wind. It was beautiful alright but knowing that this was providing energy without adding carbon to the air (like the Van of Death) or money to the Middle-East (like the Van of Death) gave me a bit of a lump in my throat (like driving the van of death). The U.S.A., that sleeping giant of potential, is getting off its ass and working towards some semblance of energy independence. Look who is a leader of the pack. Cue the Anthem boys and take off yer hats!

In Windy West Texas, An Economic Boom
by Ben Block on July 23, 2008
Growing up in West Texas, Larry Martin became well accustomed to the challenges of living off the land. Raised on a cotton farm outside the small town of Sweetwater, he recalls defending his family's crops from sandstorms after a hard rain. More often, he hoped the region's brutal droughts would not burn the cotton to death...

Studio Terra

Not long after arriving on Fantasy Island, I was introduced to a Korean artist named Yong-no. He spoke fantastic English and we really connected. Our conversation touched on numerous topics such as art, education and life in Korea. I made a commitment to drop by his ceramic studio in the following days. Unfortunately, I dropped the ball.

Fast forward to last night. Suz and I went for a walk and saw Yong-no leaving his studio. He was happy to give us a tour of his place and wares. We were impressed. So much of his work is multisensory, being visually appealing and pleasant to the touch. We bought a couple pieces that immediately caught our eyes. One piece, which we did not buy, sat under a shelf all by it's lonesome. It has a patina green inside and sand colored exterior. It reminded me of a gift we received for our wedding. Someone else will get to experiance that bowl, maybe you?

Yong-no can be reached at goomax@naver.com . He can ship to the West with no problems.

New Songdo City

For the last year Suzanne has risen each morning to build a new city in South Korea, West of Seoul. It's hard work but someone has to do it. Yesterday she was swinging hammers and today she'll operate a crane.

"In July, 2001 Gale International negotiated a joint venture agreement with POSCO E&C and the City of Incheon, South Korea, for the master planned development that is Songdo City. Located at the site of General MacArthur's 1950 landing, Songdo will be the first "new" city in the world designed and planned as an international business district. Songdo is rising as the "Gateway to Northeast Asia," a geographical hub just 40 miles southwest of Seoul and 25 miles from the North Korean DMZ industrial area.
Built on 1,500 Acres of reclaimed land and soon to be connected to Incheon International Airport via a new bridge, Songdo is the most ambitious undertaking of its kind..."

Full website access here.

The Sand Vista Eco-thingie

On July 5th we attended an Eco-event in an area called Sand Vista near, Taean South Korea, to bring awareness to the stress that their recent petrol tanker spill placed on the environment. In this area the sand slowly sinks into the sea, allowing for an amazing wide beach with room o'plenty for all. I cannot venture to say how many attended but might guess well over 1,000. That's just a guess folks, maybe there were more. Maybe the "Agent Secret" that drives that car that I do not see in that picture has some information on how many people attended. Very stealth.



The Eco-walk was an 8 km stroll along the beach. It was intended that people would complete the walk barefoot. It was great to feel sand between our toes for the first time in a long time. We both missed the ocean very much. I, however, was unable to take too much of the barefoot action as I am a tenderfoot. It appears that others also found the sand to be too much and donned high heals. I wish I could say that high heals are rare in South Korean nature walks but can be regularly seen on beaches and rugged mountain trails. Maybe they can make me some in size 15...


This is our son Kevin. Honest. His father, Kang Ho, gave him to us in exchange for Stanwiches Fajita Burritos. He drove a hard bargain since tortillas are wickedly expensive here and the seasonings must be imported on a swimming donkey from the mountains surrounding Mexico City. It turned out to be a good deal since he is a great kid and a good example for his country. He is extremely inquisitive, intelligent, and good natured. I may offer his folks some homemade hummus if we can take him to the U.S. with us. His father works with Suzanne, is a very successful marathon racer, and a great dad despite selling his kid for Stanwiches Mexican food. It is damned fine food if I say so myself.

Speaking of food, after the walk we went to a local place and had a traditional meal of raw seafood and hot soups along with some beer and Soju. It is unfortunate that I cannot eat shellfish due to my allergy but it still allowed for some serious gorging on raw grouper and smoked fish followed by some hiccup inducing red soup filled with the leftover fish. There actually came a time when I said "I am full", and then I was informed that there were more courses to arrive. The lesson here is to only eat small amounts of what is offered as there is almost always more coming.

Later, we stepped outside under a gazebo to enjoy the cool sea air and some watermelon. Almost all of us dozed off at some point. Kang Ho snuck off to get coffee for all. Korean coffee is not terribly strong and is laced with sugar and cream for a tasty bump. What a great way to meet new people in such a far away place; some exercise, mountains of food, some libation, and a nap with sea breezes.

Old Man

Sometimes you have to step outside of your comfort zone and most times this pays off handsomely. Today I hiked for about 3 hours in the low mountains of Western South Korea, near Incheon. The hike was tough and I made numerous errors in direction along the way. My goal was to find fun trails for mountain biking.

Upon my return back to Casa Crocker de Korea I got a call from Suzanne. She thought it a good idea for me to go talk to this “geriatric dude with a bottle of Soju” in front of the local quick shop. She said he really wanted someone to speak English with and that he likely had made friends with U.S. troops during the UN occupation of Korea. I sighed and slowly rose to put my dusty shoes back on my filthy feet. Something about the clinical term “geriatric” gave me the bump to go talk with this guy despite my aching feet.

I looked for the old guy and his bottle of Soju, “Hello, do you speak English?”. He stared blankly as either the Soju had a good grip on him or he did not speak English. I asked again and a young business man asked me if he could assist. I told him that my wife had been approached by the old man and that he was intent on speaking English. The young man asked why I would feel like I needed to talk to the old man who he said could speak no English. I only replied that “it’s just to be nice to him”. Eyebrows raised and then he walked away as I thanked him in Korean. The old man sat there in a Soju fog smiling, saying nothing. I bowed and exited.

While walking away I was overcome by the feeling that it’s never about doing something for nothing; there is great reward in trying to give of one’s self, even if the recipient never catches on. My feet hurt and so did my heart. I miss my patients but I know that that place is my comfort zone and I had actually stepped back into it. Where is "outside" actually?

Welcome to the Stanwiches International Blog!

It's been over four months since Suzanne and I arrived in South Korea. During our departure I committed to creating a blog to keep friends and family abreast of our activities and all that happens around us. Well, here it comes. If I cannot promise buckets of wit or profundity what will you get? I hope to provide some insight into Korean food and nutrition, small amounts of reflection on life in Korea from a Western perspective, and a little bit about the mountain biking. This space will not be used for politics, hate, negativity, or the debate of 26" wheels vs. 29" wheels on a mountain bike. That last part lost most of you didn't it?